Old Man Shades

My prescription shades. At the MS150, 2009.

Ever since I began biking, I’ve worn my prescription sunglasses. For the most part, they’ve been fine. But they’re my distance prescription only, and I need a bifocal for reading. So whenever I looked down at my bike computer, the numbers were blurry. And lately, the distance prescription has been getting a little fuzzy. I even asked readers of this blog for advice about replacing them.

Last summer, Pat and I were on a group ride together. At a rest stop, I noticed the ride leader Kathleen’s sunglasses. They were the big plastic kind that you slip on over your prescription glasses. Maybe not the most attractive eyewear, but effective. I asked her about them.

“I broke my prescription sunglasses,” Kathleen said. “With these, I can wear my regular glasses, and put these right over ’em. And if I ever break ’em, for just 20 bucks at Wal-Mart, I can get a new pair.”

I actually had some experience with those kind of sunglasses. But I always associated them with old people. My late father had several pair. His were the solid dark green kind that made him look like the subject of a satirical cartoon about Florida retirees. He was constantly offering to give me a pair. I vowed to avoid them in the interest of personal dignity.

But two summers ago, while we were on a driving vacation, my prescription sunglasses really started to bother me. When I left our hotel one evening to drop my wife off for some shopping, I realized I had left my sunglasses in the room. Rather than go back to the hotel to retrieve them, I went to a nearby Wal-Mart and checked out my options. The old man shades were there, but they were better than the ones my dad had worn. These made an attempt at style, with black rims and shaped lenses. I bought a pair.

Pat thought it was pretty funny that I would wear them, and for a long time, I only wore them while driving, where they wouldn’t be obvious. If anyone noticed that I was wearing old man shades, who cared? They were past me and out of my life in a second or two anyway.

After the episode with Kathleen, I thought about wearing those shades myself while on the bike. My first couple of experiences with them weren’t good. They sat on top of my regular glasses, and pressed them down into my nose. The bridge of my nose was sore after riding for an hour or two.

But I’ve since gotten new prescription eyeglasses, and although they are almost the same as the ones they replaced, the old man shades sit more easily on them. No nose pinch anymore. Two weeks ago, I decided this would be the way I would go.

Sleek and stylish. Yeah, right.

So I guess I’m officially an old man now. But I don’t care. They work. And, I can even read the small lettered information on my cyclocomputer. I wore them on the club ride last weekend, and no one said anything — at least to my face — although I recognize they could have been chuckling to themselves on the inside. I’m going to keep wearing them.

I do, however, make one concession to style. At the university where I work, they stay in the car and I wear my old prescription shades around campus. Can’t have my students thinking I’m more of a codger than they already do.


  1. says

    As a self-proclaimed sunglass expert (my Mom says I was born with them on my face), I would say that the new ones are so much better. Stylish, but also probably better for your eyes as well.


  2. Kathleen says

    While at an outdoor art event this summer, I had a young fashionable man ask where I got them! And did I mention that I can also read my cue sheet?


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