Stravalogisms

If neologism means coining a new word, or new usage of a word, some members of my club seem to have found a new pastime. They’re Strava addicts, and their posts to the club’s Yahoo group often mention their efforts to win King or Queen of the Mountain (KOM & QOM) or post a best new time on a favorite Strava segment.

Their obsession has led to the coining of a bunch of new words relating to Strava. We’re all familiar with “Stravacide.” Here are some that surfaced in the last few days (and yes, I’m aware that some of these might have been grabbed off various online sites):

Stravacation – A vacation or getaway planned around prime opportunities to obtain a KOM / QOM, i.e., a repeated ride in a remote area designed to obtain the KOM / QOM without competition.

Stravasectomy – Riding your bike so much trying to obtain KOM’s / QOM’s your testicles are numb, fall off or are no longer of use due to lack of availability.

Stravatude – An arrogance or attitude displayed in a group of Strava users. The medium is not limited to physical presence, but social media as well.

Stravitude – Planning Strava segments with the highest altitude beginning points in an effort to gain maximum descent speed.

Stravagate – Posting obviously flawed data to obtain a KOM / QOM, e.g., “Bill’s Garmin posted a maximum speed of 2,450.1 mph and he uploaded it to Strava for a KOM even though everyone knows he can’t go any faster than 1,872.7 mph. That’s Stravagate right there.”

Stravapocalypse – Awakening to compulsively check Strava in the morning (see Stravacompulsive) to find out 10 of your 11 KOM’s / QOM’s have been taken, e.g., “I looked at Strava this morning and all of my KOM’s were beaten yesterday. It was a Stravapocalypse.”

Stravalanche – Challenging your buddies to multiple Strava sections and dominating them all, i.e., “Wes challenged Bill to 10 Strava sections and won them all. It was a Stravalanche.”

Stravacompulsive – Checking Strava constantly in concern over your standings.

Stravacisstic – A narcissistic Strava user, i.e., pretty much anyone with a Strava ID.

Stravavention – A situation in which a Strava user is obsessed with KOMs or QOMs to the point they require an intervention from friends and loved ones.

Stravasnipe – When approaching a KOM/QOM segment in a group, drop to the very back of the group and attack the hill finishing with the front of the group.  Your average will be faster than the group you’re riding with.

Stravissimo! – An exclamation uttered by the tifosi in witness to a cyclist’s shattering of a previously “unbeatable” Strava segment. Used to describe said rider’s new KOM/QOM status.

Stravexpostfacto – Ride some irrelevant part of the route really, really fast and then make it a segment later that night just so that you can get your xOM on it.

I haven’t yet been sucked into the Stravacult (A group of Strava users whose practices are considered bizarre by normal people), so I’m a bystander on this back-and-forth. What Strava-based words have you been using among your Stravamigos?

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7 thoughts on “Stravalogisms

  1. How about Dodge Strava – those who drive around the course in order to obtain KOMs. There have been a few serious accusations of this taking place in our competitive riding groups. 

  2. You forgot stravabullying – much like cyberspace bullying, you find someone who has a bunch of KOMs in your area (preferably that you don’t know) and then you, possibly with a friends help, take a bunch of their KOMs in one day (it’s best if you and your friend split and divide the KOMs) and give them a stravalanche.

  3. Pingback: I’d better not get have a stravalanche. | Strava Cyclist

  4. Pingback: Most Popular Posts of 2012 | Bike Noob

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